Hussain Yee – I Didnt Choose To Be A Muslim
AI: Summary ©
The importance of video recording and live streaming in the age of Islam is emphasized, along with the need for a culture of confidence and a belief in oneself. The importance of protecting victims of abuse and finding support for individuals with conditions is also emphasized. The speakers stress the importance of Jesus's guidance in building up the world, praying, voluntary choices, and rewarding actions, as well as the importance of knowing the meaning of abuse and praying for the truth. They also mention the importance of praying for the truth and finding support for individuals with conditions.
AI: Summary ©
Of course, he's a very close friend of
mine.
He's going to London for university?
He's your son?
What's your name?
Jeremy.
He's going to London for school?
School as in high school?
In the UK.
He's your son?
Ah.
He's going to be homeschooled by Omar Hajjaj?
I was in Manchester up north.
Save your questions for the Q&A session
at the end.
Number four, video recording and live streaming are
not permitted.
Number five, smoking is strictly prohibited within the
centre and it is haram.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Now, allow me to introduce our distinguished speaker,
Ustaz Hisham Abu Yusuf.
Ustaz Hisham is pursuing a Bachelor's in Arts
in Islamic Studies at Al-Azhar University, Egypt,
and a Bachelor's in Engineering in Electrical Engineering
at the University of Nottingham.
Previously, he spent years studying Arabic and Islamic
Sciences in the UAE.
He has served as the Muslim Chaplain at
the University of Nottingham and is now the
Academic Director at Roots Academy.
This organization provides structured Islamic education to university
students across 25 campuses nationwide.
Ustaz Hisham is one of the speakers at
the Straight Path Convention 2024.
Tickets are still available at the straightpathconvention.com
.my. Do join him and other distinguished speakers
this weekend for an insightful talk and sharing.
Last but not least, we also want to
thank Yayasan Ta'lim and Dawah Corner Bookstore
for facilitating tonight's event.
With that introduction, it gives me great pleasure
to invite Ustaz Hisham to share his insights
and wisdom with us.
The floor is yours, Ustaz.
The first is to understand where this question
comes from and why this question is asked
and why it's asked in this age and
who might ask it and is it really
a bad thing that this question is asked?
The second part is to explore how do
we answer the question how do we respond
to these questions how have these questions been
responded to in the past and lastly is
how do we grow and how do we
strengthen and how do we enhance our Iman
in the age where everybody's Iman is really
under attack.
So let's start with the first part of
the question.
I can start with a personal experience one
of many many many many many personal experiences.
When I was working at the University of
Nottingham in the UK in a pastoral care
kind of role where I was leading the
Salah but also I was answering I had
office hours to answer the questions of young
Muslims at university and the University of Nottingham
has a large Malaysian student population because there's
a branch over here in Malaysia there's a
large exchange program and in the evenings when
I would have office hours I'd get two
types of students I'd get students who came
who have a question about something related to
their practice of Islam can I bleach my
hair?
can I do this?
can I trim my eyebrows?
how do I pray Salah when I'm on
an aeroplane etc etc and usually the conversation
will begin like this until eventually they begin
to reveal what's really bothering them once they
close the door of the office and then
the suicidal thoughts and the depression and the
anxiety and the doubt and the existential crisis
all comes out and what I was surprised
to find was that the people who had
the most unsettled Iman were the people who
grew up in Muslim countries and who now
found themselves in a Western institution in the
United Kingdom studying engineering or medicine or geography
or physics or philosophy or psychology or something
else and they happen to be in a
classroom let's say studying medicine innocently studying medicine
and in the anatomy class the teacher begins
to talk about evolution and suddenly they feel
there's a big question mark about their faith
or they're sitting in an engineering class and
suddenly their lecturer begins to speak about the
beginning of the universe and suddenly there's a
question about their faith or they're sitting in
a sociology class and the lecturer starts teaching
them about gender theory modern gender theory and
they begin to start questioning their faith what
we have to realize and what I realized
from many of such conversations is that the
world has changed so much and far beyond
the world of my grandparents and your grandparents
the world of our grandparents and great-grandparents
was a world in which cultures stayed separate
and would not interact this is before the
world wide web, before the internet now I
could go to, I'm in Malaysia and I
talk to an international student and he has
an American accent and he's born and bred
in Malaysia why does he have an American
accent?
because he watches Netflix all the time there's
no longer a separation between different parts of
the world it's all one big place, it's
all one global village and so that means
that the ideas of all parts of the
world are now swimming in this soup which
we find ourselves in and so a century
ago, two or three centuries ago a durian
farmer in the corner of Kelantan it would
have been enough for him to teach his
children and
move on with life and continue planting the
durians properly and that would have been enough
but in today's day and age whether you're
a young person growing up in the world
that we live in with TikTok and social
media and YouTube and everything else you're exposed
to or whether you're a parent with a
child growing up in this era the whole
game has changed the world has changed and
with the cross-pollination of ideas we will
not, Muslims, our faith will not survive under
attack if we don't develop a force field
around this faith and develop a deeper understanding
of this faith and a deeper conviction in
this faith otherwise it will all come apart
when it becomes tested what I noticed from
the dozens and dozens and dozens of Malaysian
students I encountered in the UK was that
many of them grew up with a cultural
understanding of Islam it could have been Malaysian
students it could have been Pakistani students it
could have been Bangladeshi students from any part
of the world they grew up with a
cultural understanding of Islam Islam for them was
what my dad did Salah for them was
what my mom told me to do otherwise
she would throw a slipper at me that
was Salah what was the meaning of what
I was saying in Salah?
I don't know why do I pray?
I don't know and so growing up in
this culture where Islam is a it is
a culture it's an inherited set of practices
why do we do it?
nobody knows that is the definition of culture
an inherited culture is something which when you
say why do we do this?
the response is this is just how we
do it don't ask this kind of question
this is how we do things we've always
done things this way and when you inherit
Islam in such a way without understanding without
rationale without reasoning without evidence without thinking the
moment that that belief gets tested it will
fail it will break because it's fragile Allah
talks about fragility in the Quran مثل الذين
يدعون من دون الله those people who call
upon others than Allah false gods كمثل العنكبوت
اتخذت بيتا what they've taken they thought that
they've given themselves insurance with a very safe
policy but instead what they have done is
they have built for themselves a spider web
وإن أوهن البيوت لبيت العنكبوت and the spider's
house is the most fragile of all houses
لو كانوا يعلمون if only they knew so
for many people Muslims who inherit their religion
as a cultural tradition like we eat this
kind of food when you go to your
uncle sit this way in his house and
also pray this way it's all the same
there's no differentiation between custom, habit and religion
it's all one inherited bunch from your parents
and when it happens in this way when
the tests of the time come against it
it will not survive this is one reason
why this question is asked when a young
person or an old person it doesn't matter
what age what gender where you're from when
you ask this question I didn't choose to
be a Muslim I feel that Islam has
been imposed upon me I would say that
you have asked the right question because this
question is the beginning of your journey towards
certainty the right question you see sometimes there
is a knee-jerk response a young person
goes to their parent and says you know
what I'm not sure why I'm a Muslim
and then they get a smack after which
they have you know red marks on their
face for the next six months this question
is actually the beginning of the route towards
certainty towards a faith built upon reason built
upon evidence built upon complete conviction in Allah
rather than a faith based on inherited culture
and the passage that I recited in the
beginning of this talk was a passage where
a young boy called Ibrahim begins his own
journey in which he begins to look up
at the sky and the world around him
and he begins to wonder this is obviously
before prophethood one of the two interpretations of
these sets of verses the other interpretation is
that Ibrahim is conveying Islam to his people
but what does he do?
Ibrahim goes out into the night sky and
he looks up he looks up and he
sees a star in the sky he says
could this be my God?
could this be the Almighty?
but when it sets he says ahh rising
and setting manifesting and disappearing this kind of
change and this kind of flux and this
kind of this is weakness this is a
dependent being someone else is moving it and
making it shine and dark and making it
come and go this is not God and
the next day he then sees the moon
the bright moon the full moon in the
night sky he says could this be God?
this is this is brighter this looks more
powerful more meaningful but when it sets he
says Allah if you don't guide me if
you don't show me who is really who
is my God my creator I'm going to
be lost he then sees the sun shining
and he says you know what maybe it
could be this but when it sets he
says no way he then says with a
level of certainty he says I now turn
myself I direct myself to the one who
originated all of these things that are moving
in circles in orbits all these dependent objects
I turn myself to him the one who
created all of them purely dedicated to him
in monotheism and you'll never find me making
equals to him this journey of Ibrahim with
these celestial objects in the sky is a
journey of him thinking and reasoning and understanding
and questioning but Allah says I
showed Ibrahim these signs in the universe for
him to reach a level of certainty somebody
who asks the question why am I a
Muslim I'm not sure why I'm a Muslim
the reason they've asked this question we can
split it into five factors the first is
environmental the idea that they may have inherited
religion from their environment in a way where
they're not sure what's religion and what's cultural
practice it's all one inherited bunch where they
are told it's not about don't worry about
the why just do all of this stuff
the second is psychological which is a person
may be doing something robotically for their entire
life but one day they sit down and
they say why am I doing this and
if you don't know why in today's world
if you don't know why especially if young
people children if they're not taught why they're
doing what they're doing they will eventually question
what it is that all of this is
about the third factor that would bring somebody
to a point where they question their faith
or why I'm a Muslim or did I
choose my faith is because their faith their
practice of Islam has been passive what does
passive mean?
you see I go to a restaurant there's
only one thing on the menu I don't
ask questions I don't look at the menu
I don't check I don't think I just
put my tray food's on the plate I
go and I sit down while I'm standing
in line I'm not thinking while I put
my tray in front I'm not thinking because
there's only one item on the menu I'm
a passive observer I'm just automatically consuming I
switch on my phone I'm on my YouTube
feed I scroll, I scroll, I scroll the
new term they call it doom scrolling you
just keep going it's a bottomless pit and
you keep going and you keep going you
never once ask why why are these the
things I've been offered why has the algorithm
given me these pieces of content I'm just
consuming I'm passively consuming in the world that
we live in we have become passive consumers
meaning what we do what we buy where
we live what we read what we watch
what we think about is not an active
choice we just find ourselves as they say
going with the flow and if your religiosity
was not an active choice at some point
in your life you will come to the
day where you will stop and you will
think what's going on the fifth factor is
a factor of trauma why do people question
their faith or wonder why am I a
Muslim or I didn't choose this faith or
what's going on is this the truth is
this not the truth the number of times
if I had a if I had a
ringgit for the number of times I came
across this situation I would be a very
rich man what's the situation somebody comes to
the office imam's office they sit down a
sister with hijab or brother with a beard
who prays five times a day but he
grew up in a household or she grew
up in a household where their parents were
always quarreling fighting screaming shouting broken plates broken
bones domestic abuse in the household divorce remarry
foster houses or this person grew up in
a household where one of the two parents
was physically excessive with them excessively physically abusive
to the child and for some reason in
every single case I came across it's the
more religious parent that tends to be the
more physically abusive to the child the more
outwardly religious looking apparently religious parent so the
same person who's telling this child pray salah
this is the same person who beats them
to shreds in the evening now the child
did what they did in the household to
obey the parents but they grew up and
they have an association of hatred with the
Quran or hatred with salah or anger or
sadness and until they resolve this they will
always question what's going on they will have
a tension with their relationship with Allah SWT
in July very recently in July I was
in the UK and I met I met
a brother who was working for a charity
very lovely brother full beard and we were
just talking and I said you grew up
in this part of the UK this part
of the UK is very well known for
producing hufadh of the Quran people who memorize
the Quran he said yeah but because I
was beaten and beaten and beaten to memorize
the Quran I memorized the Quran and I
grew a resentment for the Quran and so
I forgot the entire Quran I'm looking at
him I'm saying you memorized the entire Quran
and you forgot the entire Quran and you
have a resentment towards the Quran this is
a problem man he said yeah but I
don't know what to do with it these
people exist and this is one factor of
five the reason why somebody might end up
asking this question of why am I a
Muslim am I a Muslim why did I
choose this faith or did it choose me
or was I chosen this is the first
part and the real question is where do
we go from here if ever a child
asks a parent such a question a parent
must understand that they should never overreact to
such questions they have to create an environment
where these questions are welcome where these questions
receive a warm and a loving response because
when you create that space where a child
feels safe enough to confide into a parent
safe enough to ask questions to a parent
safe enough to question why safe enough to
reason and discuss with a parent you create
an environment where the child is going to
learn everything and they are not inheriting blindly
and their understanding of Islam is an understanding
of depth not just an understanding of blind
faith and blind practice the evidence for this
is the Prophet Yusuf and his relationship with
his father Yaqub the Prophet Yusuf sees a
dream and his father is already so approachable
in his relationship with him that he feels
he is comfortable enough to go to his
father and say you know I saw a
dream crazy dream I saw the stars bowing
to me what does it mean most of
us have such a distant relationship with our
children or vice versa that they would never
come and tell us their dreams let alone
their interests and hobbies and what cartoons they
are watching what happened at school as parents
we know that there is a cut off
age there is a particular age at which
children as they become teenagers and young adults
they just seem to disappear into fortnite or
the internet they become closed off you sit
in the car pick them up from school
how was school today good what happened like
last year two years ago I would say
how was school and you would be yapping
all the way home and now you suddenly
closed off I remember I once had a
colleague when I was working in an engineering
company a non-Muslim man he was in
his 60s and he used to bring his
son to university and I used to ask
him how is your son how is your
relationship with your son he said you know
after age of 15 I don't know what
happened to him he went into his room
and he never came out as in he
went into his room and always gaming and
always on the computer and that's it my
relationship with him disappeared so it's so key
to keep that approachable relationship with the parent
and if not then a young person who
has this question this crisis of faith this
question of identity why am I a Muslim
if not a parent they need a third
figure a sheikh a mentor a murabbi an
uncle an aunt an older brother a friend
somebody now some of you might be thinking
and this happens to me sometimes I give
a talk and I mention something about parenting
and then you always have that parent whose
kids are in their 30s and they're completely
off track and this person has given up
on life and I say to them it's
not too late sheikh I've got three here
you've added a fourth but I'm very happy
with one so the first thing as we
said is to keep have this environment of
approachability with the child the second is that
whether you're learning the deen or whether you
are in a position of responsibility where you're
teaching it or you're fostering it in your
children there is one very very key skill
to learn which is the skill of teaching
iman with reason and understanding and with logic
the prophet's companions Jundub ibn Abdullah who says
we were young boys around the prophet we
learnt iman before we learnt the Quran and
then we learnt the Quran and we increased
our iman so now this is really key
now a child is 6 or 7 when
a parent wants this child to learn something
about Islam the first thing they think is
my child has to read the Quran go
until this child can read and when the
child can read I mean in the subcontinent
when a child reads from the start of
Quran to the end for the first time
for us this child is now sheikh of
Islam done finished you don't need to ever
learn anything so there is a whole ceremony
a celebration my child has finished the Quran
Habibi this child cannot explain what do you
mean finished didn't even start so the prophetic
method was to teach young people iman before
he taught them the Quran what does it
mean to teach young people iman that means
take them to the beach I'm not joking
take them to the beach take a piece
of sand and let the sand drop from
your fingers and you say my child this
sand do you know it was once a
boulder but the sea slowly eroded away and
it became dust like this and do you
know before it was a mountain a boulder
it was something else and before that it
was something else and before that it was
something else and before all of it Allah
created it and one of Allah's name is
Al Khallaq he is constantly creating you see
the sea who moves the sea who controls
the tide look at the precision why isn't
the sea engulfing us with its power there
could be a tsunami right now what's holding
it at bay Allah is Al Hakeem the
wise he puts everything in its place then
you pick up a shell you see no
child this shell this there used to be
a crab inside this shell look at the
beauty the color the shape the size if
I told you that this just randomly came
about and popped into existence would you believe
me no somebody designed it right who designed
it Allah Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala he
is when he creates he is he designs
everything to precision you weave the names of
Allah in your conversations you lose your job
and you come home there's no rent to
pay you say to your child you know
my boss who was paying my salary my
boss is an illusion your child says what
my parents today I don't know what they
had for breakfast you say no let me
explain did you think I was being paid
by my boss no Allah is the provider
Ar-Razzaq the boss is just a messenger
postman he just comes to deliver it but
Allah is the one who sent it Ar
-Razzaq the one who provides the names of
Allah are the fundamental building blocks that shape
the minds of the Sahaba and for a
child a young person to understand the deen
and to to prevent all this identity crisis
and gender crisis and all this nonsense later
in life fill your conversations with the names
of Allah the Quran that was revealed in
the first 13 years the Meccan period the
early stages of Islam before there was a
government and foreign relations and an army and
all of this stuff was a Quran that
was filled with the names of Allah and
the companions understood this is the most important
topic that we can ever learn one day
the prophet's companion Ubayy ibn Ka'b the
prophet decided to test him he came and
he asked him Ubayy what is the greatest
verse in the Quran Ubayy says Allah and
his messenger know best I have no clue
he said no try give it a go
so Ubayy says thinking imagine how many ayahs
in the Quran does anybody know how many
ayahs in the Quran over 6000 verses and
you have to pick one I can't even
pick one of these 4 bottles to drink
water from imagine someone is the prophet is
asking you pick the best verse in the
Quran he's thinking thinking I got it is
it this verse or Rasulullah the prophet said
he smacks him out of happiness and he
says that's right the greatest verse in the
Quran is the verse of the throne but
why why is this the greatest verse in
the Quran who can tell me what is
the subject matter of this ayah of this
verse of the Quran it is the greatest
description of Allah and so the companions knew
the highest priority for a new Muslim for
a young adult for a child is to
know Allah through his names and attributes in
application in their daily lives and if they
don't know Allah they're in a lot of
trouble later on in life most crisis of
faith or crisis of identity happens due to
difficulty who knows who Stephen Hawking Stephen Hawking
tell me who is Stephen Hawking no you
put your hand up don't look at him
you can't get away with it Stephen Hawking
ok go on he deferred to you Stephen
Hawking is a very prominent scientist who got
paralyzed can he speak he can't even speak
he has to like use some devices in
order to communicate Stephen Hawking is a scholar
in the field of physics but he is
also an atheist when asked why does he
not believe in God or rather in Agnost
he is not sure when asked why is
he not sure why doesn't he believe in
God he says look at this paralysis that
I have what kind of a God would
do this to me and this is the
pattern I have seen with many young Muslims
it is when something terrible happens to them
in life they're like whoa hold on a
second I don't know if all of this
is true anymore everything begins to come into
question and this is why everything that you
do before that is a preparation for the
day a test a calamity comes and hits
you because you're not you can't be prepared
for that day when that day comes then
unless you have reached a position of certainty
you'll crumble one of the greatest example of
people who are ready for the test is
the people of Gaza right I saw a
video today a man is standing in rubble
he says my kids have died my house
is destroyed but I am certain Allah will
grant us victory what is this teach me
this this level of certainty is different these
people are built differently the people of Gaza
are built differently because there are people who
were who grew up seeing the test and
the torture all the time and their belief
in Allah survived all of that so now
nothing can deter them our religion was inherited
in culture and in comfort so the moment
a little prick comes the balloon bursts so
I said the first practical point is understanding
the names of Allah and knowing Allah and
this being the number one priority and if
you have not done this in life do
it now it's not too late and if
you have not done this in life yet
if you've not understood ayatul kursi who is
Allah and his names and attributes you are
in for trouble at some point in time
in your life a crisis will come trust
me because this is the foundation of the
building and if the foundation is not solid
the whole building will eventually come crashing down
may Allah protect all of us the second
thing I said is having an approachable relationship
whereby a young person can ask a parent
and if not if that's ruined then at
least find a mentor a murabbi an older
brother a friend somebody where they feel they
can talk to the third thing is being
able to learn iman and learn why we
believe what we believe every one of us
needs to be able to explain why we
believe in Allah why we believe in Prophet
salallahu alayhi wa sallam and the prophets before
him why we pray salah five times a
day why because a generation that grew up
in the internet age of the internet the
age of tiktok in the age of post
colonialism in the age of philosophy in the
age of all these contemporary technologies and all
this stuff they are a generation that asks
why I think my son was four years
old when he asked me why I pray
salah I was taken aback I was hoping
I'd have a few more years probation you
know before he starts asking me these tough
questions the next question was who created Allah
I thought Habibi slow down you're four when
I was four I know what I was
doing watching Tom and Jerry this is a
different generation it's a generation that asks why
and so if a parent or if you
don't know why then get ready understanding the
reason why you do what you do is
one of the greatest sources for coming close
to Allah and for instance my son one
day came home from school and they were
indoctrinating him about the environmental friendly and like
destruction of the environment there's this like ideological
kind of like brainwashing that happens at school
multiple things but one of the things is
this idea that he came home he said
tomorrow we are not driving to school I
said Habibi you are six you don't give
me commandments you don't give me commandments I
give you commandments explain he said because you
drive to school you create a global warming
I said ah me let me explain something
to you my son I created global warming
come sit here who destroyed the environment who
who destroyed the forests who fracked the oceans
who created all this destruction it's people who
believe that the greatest objective in life is
GDP economic economic improvement money this is the
God that is worshipped and so they will
worship that God at the expense of the
forest and the sea and every creation of
Allah I said we the reason the environment
is destroyed is because people did not obey
Allah if they obeyed Allah they would not
destroy the sea or the ocean or the
fish or the desert or the forest because
they know that their Prophet said the Prophet
the Prophet he forbade harming a small animal
a pigeon forget destroying the whole ocean with
all the fish and the sea being poisoned
somebody who believes in Allah on the last
day would never do this the people who
are behind this are capitalists are atheists are
people who worship money don't get it wrong
I am driving you to school tomorrow I
am driving you to school tomorrow but the
only way we can save the environment is
to remind is to bring people back to
Allah his conversation was about what?
the environment eco-friendly right global warming but
this discussion is actually a discussion about Tawheed
and about la ilaha illallah and these are
the kind of discussion that you will have
and the idea is to keep having this
discussion oriented conversation oriented you know a dialogue
with people and with yourself to understand why
you believe what you believe the Quran is
filled with proofs of why we believe and
the Prophets and the Sahaba and the Prophet's
companions were people who were always looking for
an opportunity how can I increase my level
of certainty we talked about the Prophet Ibrahim
a.s. one of the greatest examples is
the Prophet Ibrahim a.s. himself Ibrahim a
.s. asks Allah an audacious question he said
O Allah show me how you resurrect the
dead please Ibrahim don't you believe why are
you asking for live demonstration don't you believe
I believe O Allah but I want increased
certainty Ibrahim a.s. is not satisfied with
just believing there is a day of judgment
and everything will be revived he says O
Allah if it is possible for me to
see it my Iman will increase show me
and this is the fourth point practical point
one of the greatest ways to increase your
level of certainty to prevent crisis of faith
is to go and see the signs of
Allah on this earth to go and spend
time in nature to go to observatories to
go and study space to go and read
watch documentaries about nature about snakes and deers
and animals and mountains and seas why one
of if not the greatest way to know
someone is to look at the work that
they have done if you were to ask
me about a painter I would say Habibi
I cannot tell you who this guy is
you got to go look at his painting
then you will understand the mastery of this
person you ask me about a poet I
say look you won't understand until you read
the poetry you ask me about Allah I
would say you cannot know Allah until you
go and see what he has made قُلْ
سِيرُوا فِي الْأَرْضِ فَانظُرُوا كَيْفَ بَدَى الْخَلْقِ Allah
says Oh Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam command them
go out on the earth explore the earth
and see how creation started قُلْ سِيرُوا فِي
الْأَرْضِ فَانظُرُوا كَيْفَ كَانَ عَاقِبَةُ الَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِ
go and explore the dead civilizations before you
go look at the Mayans go look at
the Egyptians go look at all these prehistoric
civilizations that died go and look at them
learn from them observe them history go and
see it with your eyes then you will
know and you will become more certain in
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala one of the
greatest reasons why we are a generation that
has these crises and these questions is because
we are the generation of the smartphone a
durian farmer in Kelantan from 100 years ago
has more iman than most of us in
this room do you know why?
we didn't have our smartphone everyday he sees
Allah creating plants in front of his eyes
everyday Allah creates a durian in his garden
how is he not having high iman?
he is connected with the nature of Allah
the seeds the water the rain the plants
you and me all of this discussion about
agriculture is something we've seen in a movie
but we never experience in life us being
divorced from the creation of Allah is one
of the greatest reasons why we have crises
of faith go and see for yourself what
Allah made then how can you doubt what
Allah made?
Allah says how can you doubt Allah when
you know he originated this heavens and the
earth when you reach this level when Ibrahim
a.s. wants to reach certainty what does
he do?
he's going looking up at the sky Allah
questions us in shock about our behavior in
the Quran Allah says why haven't you looked
up at the sky?
why haven't you looked at the camel?
and thought wow how did Allah create this
hump?
look at the sky how was it raised?
look at the mountains how are they structured?
and look at yourselves look at yourself human
being inside you is all the miracles and
the signs you were created from a
dirty fluid or a moist fluid you high
IQ intelligent emotions flesh skin bones hair thoughts
you were just a piece of fluid a
piece of fluid that comes between an impure
part of the body Allah made you from
that you think he can't make you again
the Quran is filled with Allah demanding that
we use our eyes to contemplate his creation
and this is the greatest way to know
and to increase our certainty in Allah and
to know him in the most detail is
to understand what he made but there are
people who will go and look at the
creation of Allah and they will not benefit
anything from it such people Allah describes them
as blind not physically blind they are blind
from guidance Allah says why
don't they go out explore the earth and
think with their hearts or listen with their
ears it is not the eyes that become
blind But it is the hearts that become
blind to the guidance of Allah.
The Prophet's reaction when he used to think
about the creation of Allah, the universe.
His reaction as Bilal narrates one night, I
came into the house of the Prophet of
Allah and he was late for Fajr.
And I saw him soaking like somebody poured
a bucket of water on his head.
You know like when you go out in
the Malaysian rain, tropical rain, and you come
fully soaked.
This is what he looked like.
Somebody poured a bucket, he's dripping.
And Bilal said, what happened Ya Rasulullah?
And the Prophet of Allah says, O Bilal,
do you know what verses Allah revealed to
me today?
If I tell you what Allah revealed to
me today, you will break down.
What?
What verses could have been revealed that would
make the Prophet react in such a way?
He's soaking in tears.
Allah says, in the creation of the heavens
and the earth, and in the alternation of
night and day, there are signs for people
who think.
People who think of Allah standing and sitting
on their sides.
People who think about the creation of Allah
in the heavens and the earth.
And when they think, the more they contemplate,
the more they study the bee and the
lion and the mountains and the rocks and
the sea and the sun, they only reach
one conclusion.
Oh Allah, you could not have done this
for no reason.
You are far greater than that.
So Allah protect us from the fire.
So this is another practical point in increasing
your level of certainty.
Spending time thinking, understanding, watching documentaries, studying the
creation of Allah.
There's a chapter in the Quran about the
bee.
There's a chapter in the Quran about the
ant.
There's a chapter in the Quran about the
cow.
There's a chapter in the Quran about the
spider.
Why?
What's Allah saying to you?
Go and look at what I've made.
What are you guys doing?
And then you will understand who is the
maker.
One of the reasons for the question of
identity and the question of the crisis that
we have, I didn't mention one of the
factors before, but it's what I will call
the inferiority complex.
And I'll give you guys a story that
happened to me here in Malaysia.
Two years ago, I came to Malaysia to
give a series of talks at universities.
And a brother came to pick me up
to take me to the talk.
And I'm sitting in the car and I
said to him, just as we were talking,
I said, what's your favorite book?
I'm expecting, you know, brother, part of the
Muslim Students Association, some kind of Islamic book,
maybe.
He goes, my favorite book is The Prince
by Machiavelli.
I said, wait, come again?
Maybe I had some jet lag, maybe I
didn't hear him properly.
Come again?
He said, The Prince by Machiavelli.
Machiavelli is one of the European liberal philosophers
who was responsible for the destruction of religion
in Europe.
One of the people who hates religion, one
of the people who thinks human beings are
greedy animals.
This is his fundamental understanding of the human
being.
And he has a book called The Prince,
which is about how to manipulate people and
how to become powerful through greedy manipulation.
I said, brother, this is your favorite book.
Why?
For God's sake, explain to me, I need
to understand why.
He said, look, I'm in Malaysia, we're driving,
he says, look at this billboard, study in
the UK.
He says, you know, all the Western universities
and the Western thinkers are glorified, and we
think they're so smart, and they're so advanced.
I said, why?
Why do you think they're so advanced?
He said, because.
I said, because what?
He said, because the buildings and the infrastructure
and the technology and this, I said, and
what?
I said, so let me get this straight.
Advancement is based on technological progress.
Okay, I said, what's the most advanced technology
in the world today that has the most
powerful impact?
And let me ask you guys, what do
you think is the most advanced technology that
has that can have or has the greatest
possible impact to the world today?
What do you think it is?
It's not the internet and it's not AI.
I'm a specialist.
I work in the field of AI.
That's my day job.
It's not AI.
There's something more than AI, more powerful than
AI in the world today.
Hmm.
Not Wikipedia, not the internet, not AI.
Go on.
No, no, no.
We definitely not.
The only powerful power that video games have
is controlling your minds.
Go on.
What is the most powerful technology?
Do you think a technology that can cause
life and death in an instant of hundreds
of thousands of people, not social media, maybe
indirectly, be more specific.
The nuclear bomb.
Why?
It's just one button and the whole race
is wiped out.
Do you think AI is more, chat GPT
is powerful, more powerful?
What can chat GPT do?
Answer your question.
Come on guys.
Yes.
Now, let's, the nuclear bomb is the most
advanced technology in the world today and has
the most widest ranging impact.
What good did it bring to the world?
Hiroshima, Nagasaki, not far from here, Chernobyl.
Advancement is not about technological advancement, but moral
advancement.
You could have all the tech in the
world, but if you are immoral, the tech
will destroy you.
That's the story of Frankenstein.
When we were children, we read the story
of Frankenstein.
What's the story of Frankenstein?
This doctor takes different limbs of the body.
It's a fictional story.
It's not true.
Puts different limbs of the body, creates this
monster, this remarkable technology, right?
The same remarkable technology gets up one day
and kills him.
Advanced civilizations, they think that advancement is in
technological progress, but what they are producing is
a Frankenstein that will come back to bite
them.
The most advanced civilization is a civilization 1
,445 years ago in which the Prophet ﷺ
came on the earth.
You know, people, they say this, the golden
age of Islam.
Why?
When was the golden age of Islam?
When do people think of the golden age?
Andalus.
Why?
Why Andalus?
Andalus.
What happened in Andalus for people to say
that this is the golden age of Islam?
Scientific progress.
Who said that that was a marker of
advancement?
The most advanced civilization was the civilization of
the Sahaba and the Tabi'een, the civilization
of the Prophet ﷺ.
Because, it's not because they had fast cars
and fast clocks and tall buildings.
Because they were the most moral people on
this earth.
If you gave them the nuclear bomb, they
would not destroy people with it.
So, I'm explaining to this boy, this young
man, and I'm realizing that every colonized people,
as Ibn Khaldun says, are obsessed with the
colonizer and to become like the colonizer.
And every victim of abuse wants to go
back to their abuser.
It's the same thing.
This inferiority complex makes us think that our
religion is simple and primitive and other people
are advanced.
I want to see what David Hume said
and I want to see what Alvin Plantinga
said and all these philosophers said.
Why can't so advanced?
Let me show you, you know, Rene Descartes,
one of the philosophers, famous philosophers in Europe.
This guy was not sure he existed.
So, he was thinking, like, how do I
prove that I exist?
I'm thinking.
That's why he said the famous statement, I
think, therefore I am.
MashaAllah, you realize you exist, Shafir.
Let me give you an award.
This is the stupidity of Western philosophy and
advanced civilization.
This inferiority complex sometimes causes people to think
that what we have is less and that
what we have, what Allah subhanahu wa ta
'ala has granted us is primitive and basic
and backward and old and ancient.
No.
It is the most advanced moral code that
any human could ever know.
It is a dominating revelation.
It dominates the world and all ideas and
all ideologies.
Everything submits to it because the submission to
Allah is the greatest form of understanding and
advancement.
But this is something we have to explain
to our kids.
Because they watch Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, startups,
tech, AI, wow, they feel the whole world
reached the moon and we're still here learning
Kitab al Tahara.
That's how people, that's how Muslims, I've heard
this said to me when I was teaching
Kitab al Tahara in the masjid.
Someone said to me, the world has reached
the moon and you're still teaching Kitab al
Tahara.
And I said to him, you didn't reach
the moon and you also didn't learn Tahara.
Don't talk to me about Tahara.
You didn't either.
Go back to the sofa, the couch where
you came from.
So we have to give, okay, shaping the
identity of a Muslim.
Part of identity is being proud of who
you are.
As Malays in this country, you always have
these kind of like interracial challenges as every
country has.
And there is a level of pride.
I'm proud that I'm a Malay.
This is my Malay tradition and history and
culture.
I'm an Indian.
I'm proud of my Indian history, tradition and
this.
But for us to embed in a generation
pride in Islam, they need to know who
their ancestry is.
They need to know the Muslim and Islamic
ancestry that they have.
They need to understand what happened in Spain.
They need to understand who the Sahaba were.
And the stories of the Sahaba need to
be the bedtime stories every single day.
One recently, I was talking to somebody and
this person was a taxi driver.
And they said, listen, brother, I only have
15 minutes a day with my child.
I put them to bed.
What do I do?
I said, excellent.
You don't need more than 15 minutes.
He said, what?
I said, every day, tell them a story.
One of the stories of the Prophets and
the Sahaba.
And you know why?
These stories, they'll never forget them.
And it will be etched in their mind.
And they will glorify them.
But if you just leave them, they will
glorify football players and celebrities and people in
the gossip columns and TikTok stars and influencers.
Why?
There's no alternative.
No alternative story was given to them.
They don't rate anybody else.
You know, one time, my own child, he
was having this football obsession.
And in Manchester, he came to the Masjid
and he prayed Salah.
And next to him, a famous football player
was praying Salah next to him.
His name is Benjamin Mendy.
He plays for Manchester City.
He's a brother, a convert to Islam.
He prays in the Masjid.
After Salah, I said to him, I said,
look at him, Benjamin Mendy.
My son was about to fly out of
shock.
I said, relax.
I said, Benjamin, tell my son, who is
your biggest role model?
He said, Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.
I said, see, even the footballer submits, right?
If there's no alternative story, narrative given to
them, they will automatically submit to the narrative.
You see, when European culture disbelieved in God,
when Friedrich Nietzsche announced the death of God
or his version of God, and they moved
on from God and they moved on from
the prophets, it left such a gap in
their lives, they didn't know what to do,
so they filled it with Superman and Batman
and Spider-Man.
Why?
Before, the superheroes were the prophets.
And in the absence of the prophets, we
have to tell ourselves some kind of story,
somebody to look up to.
So they invented, Marvel and DC invented superheroes.
Post-mass atheism in Europe.
We don't need those stories.
We have better stories.
Our prophets may not be flying and seeing
through walls and all of this nonsense.
And yet, this is the stupidity of these
stories.
The guy can see through walls and this
and this and this, but there is a
woman he wants to marry, he can't marry
her.
What kind of powerless guy is this?
Miskeen, miskeen, super miskeen.
So when I'm telling my children stories, I
destroy these superheroes to them.
I say, what, Spider-Man can climb walls?
What kind of power is this?
He's like a spider.
I can crush a spider with my foot.
What is this?
There's nothing to look up to.
But Muadh ibn Jabal, let me tell you
Muadh ibn Jabal.
Musab ibn Umair, let me tell you about
Musab ibn Umair.
Lut, alayhis salaam, Ayyub, in a whale, in
the sea, Yunus.
Ah, you don't know this story.
Let me tell you this story.
Reviving the art of storytelling and the attachment
to the role models of the prophets.
And the attachment to a history the like
of which the world has never seen.
The history of Islam.
And if we don't tell that story, they
will crave other stories.
And believe me, the whole world is waiting.
From TikTok to Marvel, they're all waiting for
your child to come to say, I want
a story.
Say, I've got it for you.
We have to tell the story of the
prophets and Sahaba and Tabi'een and the
greatest of being.
So to summarize this portion, once you've identified
the reasons why there are crises of faith
and crises of identity, how do you solve
them?
Number one, by learning the why we believe.
Number two, by having an approachable relationship with
children.
Number three, by exploring the creation of Allah
frequently and spending time talking to them about
the creation of Allah.
Number four, by having a deep understanding about
the names of Allah and His attributes.
And inshallah on YouTube, if you search my
name Hisham Abu Yusuf, there is a series
called the Names of Allah and His Attributes,
33 lessons.
It's probably the worst series on this topic
on YouTube.
But if you can't find anything else, then
inshallah you might benefit from it.
And number five, the storytelling and learning and
understanding the history of Islam and of the
prophets and of the companions.
So there's something to be proud of.
And there's something to relate to and something
to say, this is who I am, this
is where I'm from, and these are my
forefathers.
And I want to end with one point.
If we come back to the beginning question
of this lecture, I'm not sure why I
am Muslim.
I don't know if I chose to be
a Muslim or not.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says, يَا أَيُّهَا
الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا دَخُلُوا فِي السِّلْمِ كَافَةٌ O believers,
if you haven't done so yet, completely come
into submission to Allah.
If you were passive all this time, and
you didn't know what you were doing or
why you were doing it, now is the
time to become in a state of active
submission to Allah.
I want to end on this analogy that
Iman is like riding a bike.
Can you ride a bike without pedaling?
What will happen if you don't pedal?
It's going to fall over.
There is no such thing as a passive
believer.
The only way to ride the bike of
Iman is to keep pedaling hard.
Through looking at the signs of Allah, through
studying the Quran, to studying why we believe,
to looking at the creation of Allah, to
being in good company.
And this is what keeps the gears going.
This is the grease that will continue keeping
the gears going.
And if you don't pedal and you just
let it go, then it just takes one
light wind of doubt or desire, and that
Iman has flown away.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us
certainty.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala strengthen our
Iman.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala strengthen our
identity.
May Allah rid us of Spiderman and Superman,
and grant us understanding of Mu'adh and
Khadijah and the Prophet ﷺ, and those before
them and after them.
Wa salli Allahu wa sallim wa barik ala
Nabiyyina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi ajma
'in.
And I'll take your questions inshallah.
Alhamdulillah, barakallahu fikum ya sheikh for the sharing,
as well as the reminders.
Now we open the floor for Q&A.
Any questions, just raise your hands and we
will have the mic pass over.
Assalamu'alaikum.
Assalamu'alaikum.
So coming back to the Gaza example, because
I've had a question of where is your
God?
Why does he allow these things to happen?
Aren't Palestinians all Muslims?
So why has this continuously gone on?
So I kind of lost how to answer
this one.
That's a great question.
So everybody heard the question?
Yeah?
He said what's happening in Gaza?
He's received a question, where is your God
and why is all of this going on?
The first thing to do is to understand
God.
The God that we know and that we
worship, the true God who created the heavens
and the earth, he created it as a
test.
I'm sure you have a driving license, right?
Yes.
You might remember your driving test.
I want you to imagine, you get into
the car to do the driving test, you
sit down, you close the door, and the
examiner tells you, you passed.
What?
What you were expecting was roundabouts and country
lanes and fast roads and slow roads and
all this.
Why?
How will you pass if there's no challenge?
By definition, a test is a challenge.
You don't go into the test expecting the
certificate for free.
That's the first thing.
To understand not only God, but why God
created the heavens and the earth, he created
it as a challenge, filled with challenges for
all of us.
This is the first thing.
So there should be no surprise that there
are challenges on this earth.
Whether it's illness, whether it's mutation, whether it's
difficulty, disability, finance, divorce, sleepless nights, health, everybody
has their share.
Those are the rules of the game.
Now, why does God test us?
Why would a merciful God test us?
I'll give you another analogy.
Why would a loving parent discipline their child?
They want their child to realize and come
back.
Child's done something wrong, they want them to
realize.
The child at the time says, my father
hates me.
He's always hitting me, shouting at me, scolding
me.
And you say, no my son, it's because
I love you and I want you to
improve these things, that's why I'm scolding you,
that's why I'm explaining this to you.
But a child doesn't understand that.
They think that a merciful parent means a
permanently nice parent.
And we know what happens with permanently nice
parents.
Their children walk all over them like it's
a zoo.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is the most
merciful.
But Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is also
severe in punishment.
And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is also
the most wise.
Part of the wisdom of God is that
He tests different people in different ways.
And so your test will be different to
mine.
And my test will be different to His.
Now we come to the people of Gaza.
The people of Gaza are in a test
which God informed us the whole point of
this world is a test.
You think that the people of Gaza are
being tortured and suffering.
But God informs us something completely different.
How does God describe the people like the
people of Gaza?
Do not assume that the people who die
in God's path are dead.
When they pass, they will be alive with
God and He will be providing for them.
Actually the people of Gaza have it the
best out of all of us.
Why?
We're still here stuck in the test.
And the people who passed away in that
torture of Gaza are already with Allah in
gardens of paradise.
They have the better outcome than us.
That is God's mercy.
God was more merciful to them than to
us.
But you have to flip the script.
You have to look at it from a
perspective of the afterlife.
Not just from a perspective of this life.
And what is the alternative?
A God that makes a perfect world where
we are all drones and everything is lovely?
That's called Wall-E.
That's a movie.
Where everybody is just fat people sitting back
and drinking slush all the time.
What kind of a life is that?
That's not what He promised us.
That's not the rules of the game.
The rules of the game it's going to
be tough.
And out of His mercy He tests us
because we come right back to Him.
Out of the furnace comes the most pure
of diamonds.
That's why the people of Gaza are the
purest of iman on this earth.
Because they were born and bred in a
furnace of tests.
And they are the purest.
And they are the most certain.
And they have the strongest trust in Allah.
You and me because we were born in
comfort with air conditioning.
That's why we have this crisis of faith.
But they don't.
And they have a better outcome than us.
So you will not understand the mercy of
God until you open your lens and look
at the afterlife as well as this life.
And you will not understand the mercy of
God until you understand this world was created
as a test.
Allah knows best.
May Allah make it easy for you to
explain this onto them.
I'll give you a one liner.
I'll give you a one liner.
Tell them we only have the pixel and
God has the picture.
You only have one pixel but God has
the full picture.
Allah knows best.
There's another question.
I want to ask as someone who works
in mental health and dealing with individuals who
have conditions like autism, ADHD I often hear
concerns about how can I manage to perform
my obligatory prayer reading the Quran when I
struggle to even remember basic needs like eating
on time.
So how do I find support for them
or for them themselves to find balance in
that struggle?
Thank you.
Tough question.
You have to consider you have to take
the prophetic approach which is to meet people
where they are and build them from there.
You got this person with ADHD they have
the attention span of a goldfish and they
can barely remember their name and barely remember
when to eat.
So you say alright how about one salah
a day.
Can you do that?
You can do that?
Great.
Let's start there.
Zuhur Salah Right after you remember to eat
lunch Bismillah Zuhur Salah Allah says to fear
Allah to the best of your ability So
start there and build build build.
Just as you are building them getting them
to understand how to manage their condition and
understand their condition they need to leverage that
to worship Allah in their condition and that
the obligation isn't lifted unless they have reached
a level of insanity but build them step
by step in the Prophet's Salah Iqra was
revealed and he was 40 the obligation of
salah came 10 years later So if the
foundations of iman are not strong then for
them salah is just a chore.
So maybe you might need to build their
iman first Ok don't worry about salah yet
let's talk about Allah Do you know who
Allah is?
Why do you believe in Allah?
Why do you pray in the first place?
Let's talk about this first Once you understand
this it becomes easier for you to pray
and then let's do one prayer and then
two and then three and then four and
slowly slowly build them up and may Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala make it easy for
them They say Rome wasn't built in a
night and a believer is also not built
in a night and you need to consider
yourself a shepherd that is slowly pushing this
flock in the right direction and may Allah
make it easy for you Any
more questions from the floor?
Hello Assalamualaikum My question is Allah chooses who
he guides correct?
So if that's the case if he chooses
not to guide someone how is it their
fault that they're going to end up in
hellfire?
If that question makes sense Yes it did
make sense Allah chooses whom he guides but
the way you need to understand this is
not prescriptive that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
for example I don't like the look of
your face you're condemned I like this brother
It's like Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala just
chose I like these guys I don't like
them and now the rest of it is
just a circus that's not how it works
the way you need to understand the decree
of Allah the first thing that you need
to believe in and understand is that we
have choices and anybody who denies that human
beings have choices there is something called a
water bottle test very simple, no philosophy what's
a water bottle test?
you say brother what's your name?
Kareem.
Kareem says Allah has condemned all of us
and decided everything I don't decide whether I'm
going to Jannah or Jahannam it's all decided
for me I say okay Kareem, brilliant, come
here with the bottle Kareem says why did
you do that?
I say it wasn't my choice it was
decided I was just involuntary and obviously he's
going to give me an uppercut after that
because obviously it's absurd I chose to hit
him by the way I've never done this
in real life we don't condone violence but
why is that test so important?
to realize that was a voluntary action and
everyday I make voluntary choices that determine my
fate I chose what to look at I
chose to eat that food I chose what
I saw, I know what I saw I
made my decisions, I know why I made
my decisions that's the first thing it's intuitive
but sometimes if you think about it too
much in your head you can lose that
intuition Allah gave you choices you have a
limited set of choices like right now, maybe
there's 10 different things you could do but
you can't teleport to Brunei you have a
limited set of choices and that's your test
how do you behave in those set of
choices?
when Allah says Allah guides whom He wills
and Allah leads astray whom He wills you
need to understand something very important crucial to
understand this verse Allah doesn't guide or misguide
at random nothing Allah does is random Allah
does everything with precision okay Allah guides whom
He wills in the Quran Allah says there
are certain people who are searching for the
truth who have good intentions who are trying
to do good things or they're trying to
search for the truth those people, I will
make that path easy for them there are
other people I give them signs, I give
them reminders opportunities, good options and every time
I give them an option they take the
wrong path there are people who inherently are
defiant people those people, given how defiant they
are I will just make that easier for
them that is the meaning of that Allah
misguides somebody who has already intended and has
demonstrated repeatedly that they are defiant, Allah says
here's the path, you can keep going these
are the people whom Allah says people if
I showed them every miracle they wouldn't believe
defiant people but you defied so that was
a consequence of your defiance that Allah led
you further astray it's called in Arabic Allah
says in the Quran you proved your defiance
so I led you astray how can Allah
the Guider, the most Merciful misguide or lead
astray somebody who has shown a positive intention,
it's the opposite you show Allah the smallest
intention to improve Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
opens all the doors for you and encourages
you and helps you you see one way
for you to understand this calculation if you
intended to do a good deed but you
just ended up not doing it, you shall
get a reward if you intended to do
a bad deed but you didn't do it
you don't incur any sin this is the
mercy of Allah the mercy of Allah outweighs
his wrath and so the summary is number
one for you to understand, you have choices
and all of us make choices that determine
our fate a robber cannot go and stand
in court and say it wasn't me Allah
decided, decreed for me to rob because he
knew and he made the plan and he
drove up and he grabbed the piece and
he ran he knew exactly what he was
doing and for such people we give them
the water bottle test the second thing that
you need to understand is that Allah guides
and leads astray this is a gift or
a punishment based on your behaviour it's not
at random and if you show further defiance
he will lead you further astray Allah knows
best alright we have one more question, we'll
take one more question Salam alaikum ya ustad
I am asking on behalf of this sister
here, her question is how to deal with
abusive parents this is the last question brother
last question how to deal with abusive parents
I think the first thing is that we
need to understand the question in a bit
more detail why the reason is that we
live in an environment today in which the
term abusive has been abused so I tell
my son don't do this today we live
in a snowflake generation culture where it's like
my father is emotionally abusive why?
because he scolded me brother do you know
what I received from my parents?
it's nothing what are you talking about?
this is the first thing that we need
to understand what is the form of abuse
that's being referred to is it physical?
is it emotional?
is it psychological?
what exactly are the parents doing to understand
how to deal with it on a case
by case basis but here are some general
principles the first general principle is that as
children we know that Allah commanded us to
have ihsan meaning the best possible behavior towards
our parents but Allah did not give parents
that freedom and that privilege for them to
abuse us this was not the reason why
Allah gave it to them so when a
parent crosses the boundary crosses the red line
and exceeds the bounds and oppresses their children
by excessively beating them by hurting them, by
attacking them by trying to be unjust towards
them the first thing for you to understand
is that your parent is sinful for what
they have done and in the sight of
Allah they can never slide doing what they
did injustice is darkness on the day of
judgement it doesn't matter who it comes from
and in what form it comes but how
do you deal with this?
the first one the first point is do
not respond in like so parents shout at
you don't shout back parent becomes physical accept
the need to defend yourself, don't strike back
that's the first thing general principle don't give
back or do not take revenge or revenge
or repel what you have number two is
to protect your sanity and protect yourself from
harm the prophet s.a.w. said do
not harm and do not receive or reciprocate
harm so one of the commandments of the
sharia is if you have a parent, let's
say you have an alcoholic parent who comes
home drunk and then beats you to shreds
you are fully allowed in the sharia to
lock your door so they don't come in
the room if you know they are going
to come and they are going to completely
finish you because you are protecting yourself from
harm which Allah did not sanction I'm giving
a specific example I'm giving a specific scenario
but it's to illustrate a general point protect
yourself from harm in whatever way you can
number three, patience whatever you are going through
one of the worst tests a person can
have is to be tested by those in
the immediate family and be inspired by the
prophet Ibrahim s.a.w. whose father threatened
to stone him to death if you don't
stop I'll stone you to death and get
out of the house my father peace be
unto you I'm going I will ask Allah's
forgiveness for you Allah is always looking after
me and I will be completely away from
you and what you worship other than Allah
so sometimes when the harm of a parent
becomes too excessive one of the ways to
deal with this harm is distance to reduce
the contact to limit the contact in a
way whereby it prevents the harm these are
general principles but really my advice to any
particular person dealing with this you must speak
to the Asatidah in the center consult for
your specific case because when it comes to
abuse and injustice and stuff like this every
case has a different story and a different
solution and I can only speak in generalities
any good is from Allah any mistake is
from myself Jazakumullahu khair for your time and
peace
be unto you remember Ustaz talked about Iman,
strengthening Iman in our kids and Alhamdulillah as
you know Al-Khadim, every year we do
organize our Al-Khadim youth camp if you
could play a clip for you registrations are
still open so you may expect just an
idea of what you may expect Inshallah